Before. After. Always. by Morgan Lee Miller
- Publisher: Bold Strokes Books, May 11th 2021
- Genre: Romance
- Format: Ebook (eARC)
- Page Count: 314 pages
- My Rating: ★★★★ (4/5)
Click on the cover for my review on Goodreads.
Content warnings: panic attacks, PTSD, motor accidents, loss of loved ones, surgery, hospitalization, homophobia, outing, conversion therapy (pray the gay away)
I loved Miller’s YA duology All the Worlds between Us (my review of ATWBU & ATPTY) and have been looking forward to Before. After. Always. for months. And I wasn’t disappointed.
Dr. Eliza Walsh (31, lesbian) lost her girlfriend of four years when she was eighteen in a car accident where she was the driver. Now, thirteen years later, she is a surgeon on her last year of residency and still not entirely ready to love again. When Blake Navarro (30, lesbian, Mexican American) enters the ER with multiple fractures after a motorcycle accident, Eliza becomes intrigued by this flirty patient. After discharge, Eliza decides to take up on Blake’s invitation to Mezcal Cocina where she works as a head chef. Would it be so wrong to get to know this reckless woman?
Told through dual third-person points-of-view, the writing and emotional descriptions were great right off the bat. Their voices were distinct in the beginning but that sort of faded as the story went on. While I never really felt a lot of chemistry between Eliza and Blake, I rooted for them from the start. They were good together. Both of them have lost people that are important to them—Eliza’s girlfriend and Blake’s brother—and the understanding they have for each other on the subject of grief is wonderful. Miller captured the froze-up brain of panic attacks well and the trauma of losing loved ones was palpable through the thoughts and narrative. There is always a sense of longing in the sentences.
The story is a little bit more about Eliza making peace with her past, her experience of losing her love at eighteen and her nine-year estrangement with her parents, than about Blake. We have the contrast between the Walshes, who seem to be not understanding of Eliza, and the Navarros, who are very invested in Blake’s personal life. I like that Blake’s heritage is clearly acknowledged given that she is a head chef at her uncle Hugo’s Mexican restaurant. During the read, I had to order some burritos and chips with guac because all the food Blake was cooking made me so hungry.
The conflict was pretty dramatic. To be honest, I’m not sure why it blew up the way it did; it felt less like not talking and more about them not listening to each other, but I felt both of their frustrations and anger that it didn’t end up as a surprise. I also like how it didn’t happen too late into the story and the ending didn’t feel rushed. Most of the things I could see coming from miles away so none of the events seem too random. Could it have been avoided? I don’t think so. Loss is such a central theme that a dramatic conflict was the only way to wake the both of them up.
Miller tackled the tough subject of grief in Before. After. Always. It didn’t feel too painful reading, but all the emotions were there. The story between Eliza and Blake is mostly cute, and after all the suffering they endured through losing people they loved, they deserved the very sweet and happy final chapter.
I received a digital review copy from Bold Strokes Books via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Buddy read with Gabriella!
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